


all i want is a lavender coffin

by viviolet



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Platonic Dance Lessons, Team Bonding, and the nein should get lessons from beau, idk when this would take place but let them have fun k, look all im saying is that jazz music and swing dancing should exist in exandria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviolet/pseuds/viviolet
Summary: a night out at a xhorhas jazz club, what better time for the mighty nein's forest hermit to learn how to dance?
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	all i want is a lavender coffin

**Author's Note:**

> i know [this clip](https://twitter.com/16BitEric/status/885957913902108672) is 100% keyleth and percy at a fancy function, but what if it was also beau teaching cad how to dance?
> 
> title is from “lavender coffin” by lionel hampton, which is, not coincidentally, the song that my dance instructor taught swing to

After a week in the Barbed Fields running an errand for the Bright Queen, the Mighty Nein are more than happy to find themselves with a few days free in Rosohna. Their first night back, they’ve barely had the time to wash up and change into more casual clothes when Jester is dragging them all out, demanding they go out drinking.

This is how they find themselves in a small bar, filled with smoke and colored floating lights that illuminate a currently empty stage in reds and purples. They’re told that the musical guests are backstage and about to come out, and that they’re in for a treat if they decide to stay. Veth places their orders at the bar as the rest go to find seats.

Yasha picks a table that’s tucked away, but gives them a good view of the stage. The floor in front of the stage appears to have been cleared out, room being made for an unknown purpose. Veth rejoins them, and they pass around casual compliments about their accomplished job. Beau is beginning to speculate what kind of work will be assigned next when their server comes carrying a more than full tray and quickly begins distribution.

“Why the empty spot on the floor?” Caleb asks, gesturing at the space cleared away in front of the stage.

Their server smiles as he places the final drink. “Oh, we cleared that out for tonight. You’ll see, once they start.” He nods at the stage, where the musicians are exchanging quiet conversation and look like they’re about to begin playing.

“You should offer to accompany them.” Veth teases, knocking her shoulder into Yasha.

“Oh.” Yasha smiles into her giant mug. “Only if they ask.”

The band starts with an uproar and the lead singer gives a call out to the crowd that most of the patrons return with enthusiasm. He begins and song full of life and instrumentals, albeit one with slightly morbid lyrics.

“Holy shit!” Beau exclaims, jumping out of her seat. “I know this one!”

“How.” Fjord says flatly, nervous expression betraying his surprise.

She gives him a half-wild smile. “Shitty dad like mine, you think he wouldn’t make me take dance lessons?”

To her words, the floor is beginning to fill with couples taking up fast movements, spinning each other around and kicking when they have the space.

“C’mon you guys,” Beau looks dangerously close to laughing, “don’t tell me none of you learned how to swing.”

She’s met with silence from the rest.

“No shit.” Beau’s perhaps never looked more disappointed in them. “Well, no time like the present to learn. Up, tall boy you first.”

She pulls Caduceus up by his elbow and is dragging him to the dance floor before he can begin to process or try to resist her iron grip. He shoots a mournful look to Yasha, and she gives him a teasing wink. No sympathy for him, then.

They’ve passed the bar and are drawing near to the floor. The orbs of red light are brighter here, the dancers easier to observe. They all move with a careful speed and grace, many holding their partners close like loves and engaging in tight complicated twirls. Others move alone, engaging other singles in small competitive displays before spinning off to either find a partner or a new soloist to show off too. Their feet all shake and move at a speed that could almost be described as frightening. He’s taken aback by the freedom they find from the music, and he allows himself to hope this will actually be fun.

A pair of men in the corner do a complicated series of pass throughs between one another’s legs. The motions are more slapstick than romantic, but they’re clearly enjoying the other’s company while they dance. Caduceus audibly gulps.

“Please don’t tell me –“

“Nothing that fancy.” Beau promises, offering him her hand as they cross into the cleared floor. “But I am going to make you lead since you’re so fucking tall.”

He balks again for a moment, but takes her hand. She pulls them to the center of the floor, smiling wide. Caduceus tries to follow her movement, maintain an eye on the dancers around them, and not step on her feet.

“Relax!” Beau says through her laughter, doing a dramatic head turn. “No one’s going to kick you.”

Caduceus takes another breath and pulls Beau to cross underneath his arm. She follows through by pulling him to her and they spin around one another. He manages not to step on her foot, a small victory.

“Good!” Beau praises as they spin outwards, connected by one hand.

She pulls her way back, and he raises his arm so she can pass under it, but she hops and gets leverage on him and Caduceus is walking under her’s. Beau gives him a mischievous grin before she goes back in for another small rotation.

Beau’s leading now, despite her threat-heavy promise beforehand. She spins out Caduceus, and he does a small jive on the spot without putting any thought into it. Beau mirrors him with a silly expression.

Caduceus can’t stop the full body laugh that comes out of him, and Beau dives back in to take advantage of his newfound enjoyment of this style of dance.

They’re on the floor for a long time, but none of their party ever cut in to join them. Despite the stamina of the band and the other dancers around them, the pair begin to tire, and Beau even slips up and treads on Caduceus.

“Break?” Beau jerks her head in the general direction of their table, and he nods.

They have to weave through a trio of women engaged in a complicated series of pass-offs to make it back to their table. Caduceus is sweatier than he realized and attempts to wipe his brow with the back of his hand. Whether that makes his fur drier or more damp is up for interpenetration.

Veth bursts into applause at their return. “Incredible!” She cheers. Yasha and Jester pass them their drinks, and they both don’t hesitate to take giant gulps.

Caleb dons a soft smile. “We danced in Rexxentrum, but not like that. You two are excellent to watch.”

“I didn’t know you danced, Deuces.” Fjord remarks from across the table with a fond expression.

“Me neither.” Caduceus admits, once he’s recovered a bit.

“Anyone can dance.” Beau insists, elbow propped on the table now and pointing a finger at Fjord. “You just need the _spirit_.”

Fjord raises his hands in defeat. “Well, then count me out unless the shanties start up.”

“Loser.”

“Private school nerd.”

“They were tutors.” Beau insists.

“Fjord’s being lame.” Veth says as she slides out of her seat. “But you’ve got a willing sprit Beau, if you think you can handle me.”

Beau raises an eyebrow, fails to hide her chuckle. “You? I think I can manage.” And they’re off towards the dance floor, laughing all the way.

Jester knocks Caduceus between the ribs with her elbow. “Considering you’re our next best dancer, I think it would be rather rude to deny me some quick lessons.”

He smiles. “Blind leading the blind?”

“Oh Caduceus.” Jester says fondly as they follow the soft red moats of light to the rest of the dancers. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> "claire you can go more than three days between posting caduceus-centric fics" but have you considered the fact that i love him
> 
> his friendships with all the girls, beau especially, mean so much to me
> 
> catch me at [somecommonbitch](https://somecommonbitch.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
